


Money for Nothing

by fangirlSevera



Series: Broverse [14]
Category: From Beyond, Re-Animator (1985)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Humor, M/M, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-20
Updated: 2012-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-05 17:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlSevera/pseuds/fangirlSevera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected visitor to Arkham creates financial tension for Herbert and Dan. And dinner at a an upscale restaurant could only go as well as expected with the West family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Money for Nothing

Herbert West did not put any stock into notions such as ESP, precognition, or premonitions. That's why Dan was surprised one morning when Herbert asked, "Have you ever woken with a feeling of dread, as if you just know something terrible is about to happen?"

"Every day since I met you."

Herbert grunted. He did look uneasy, a bit on edge. "Well, if you need something to keep your mind off it, do some cleaning."

"Cleaning?"

"I have to go in, you're only on call. So do some dusting, use the broom for once." Herbert eyed the cleaning supply cupboard with distaste. "I'm not turning you into a housewife just by asking you to do a couple chores."

"What's in it for me?"

"Not living in filth? Think of the entire house as the lab. You _want_ controlled, hygienic conditions, yes?"

"Oh, fine. But you're doing the laundry this week."

"Deal." He gave Herbert a parting kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, sweetheart."

"I will hurt you."

"Have a nice day, Herbert," Dan called, before going out the door.

* * *

"Dr. Cain!"

"Good morning, Dr. Vale. What can I do for you?"

"I have a very important donor sitting in my office. She's interested in a tour of the facilities."

"Oh, I-" Dan waved his clipboard, indicating his busy schedule. 

"I'm afraid you were requested. By name."

"Really?"

Vale took the clipboard from Dan's hand and guided him by the elbow. "But who is this benefactor? How does she know me?" All Dan could think of was one of the old ladies from last Halloween's fundraiser.

Vale ushered Dan into his office. Dan gaped at the short, bespectacled woman in a blue, pinstriped suit inspecting Vale's credentials on the wall. "Holy shit!"

"Cain!"

"Hello to you, too, Daniel."

"Ah, so you do know each other."

"Dr. Vale, this is Jeanine West!"

"Yes! A _very_ generous-"

"As in Dr. _West_? This is his sister!"

"West? Oh, the little one. Scares the nurses. You live with him, don't you?"

"That's the one."

"I see. I see. Surprised you didn't ask for him then, Miss West."

"He's not here today," Dan said.

"It's just as well." Jeanine smiled up at him. "My brother isn't the most gracious of hosts."

"Well, I'll leave you to it." Vale gave Dan a hearty pat on the back. "Show her only the good things, right?" He chuckled.

"Right." Dan laughed politely as he waited for the door to close behind Vale. He turned quickly to Jeanine. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a conference in Boston. Since I was close by..."

"But you don't just drop in for visits. In fact, I thought you preferred to keep an extremely safe distance from Herbert."

"While at the conference, a colleague made a very good point about knowing where one's money is going. So, I decided to take some time and have direct contact with my... investments."

"You've been giving money to the hospital?"

Jeanine laughed. "My dear boy! Did you really think you and Herbert were hired here based on your _glowing_ records alone?"

When he was honest with himself, no. But he had made it a point to not over-think it and accepted their good fortune. "Do your brothers know you're here?"

"No, of course not. I wanted to surprise them. You won't ruin my surprise will you, Daniel?" 

Dan gave her a pained smile.

Her interest in a tour was genuine. Dan tried to be as courteous and forthcoming with her as she had been when showing him her home last fall. "They're threatening to name a wing after me," she sighed. "One reason to stay anonymous. Besides, it'd sound like something belonging in D.C. wouldn't it?"

It took him a moment. "Ah, right." 

"Daniel, are you all right? You've been a bit skittish all day. Is there something wrong? Has something happened?" Her eyes narrowed.

_So many things._ Her glare was a diamond-tipped drill digging at his secrets. "Nothing. It's just you, here, without warning... It's like having a pop quiz in school."

"An unwelcomed surprise, then."

"No! Not completely. I guess, I'm worried about how the guys are going to react." Bad. It was going to be bad. 

Vale caught up with them and took Jeanine away with dollar signs in his eyes.

* * *

Herbert put the phone down with a shaking hand. What the hell was the woman playing at? She never came to them. No, she expected her relatives to pilgrimage to her as she waited like a queen taking audience. She was breaking her own rule of contact. Something was afoot. Herbert knew why now he started the day with a cold rock in his gut.

* * *

Crawford set the phone down with a shaking hand. Surprise visit? Jeanine in Arkham! He knew it. He waited too long in letting her meet Bubba. They had been busy, and unfortunately in a way he didn't want to explain to his sister. 

"Edward!" He called up the stairs. "I have to go. Family emergency."

"Who's been arrested now?"

"No one! Yet."

* * *

Dan arrived home knowing company was not far behind. He was not entirely unprepared to find Herbert pacing the living room, his Peruvian pistol strapped to his waist. It was Crawford's presence that was more surprising, as he sat on the sofa, nervously chewing on the cuff of his sweater.

"Aren't you overreacting? Again?" Dan asked Herbert.

"I'm protecting our home from a hostile invasion, Dan." 

"A home bought with _her_ money!"

"She only helped with the down payment. _Our_ names are on the lease. _We_ make the monthly payments. Or so you've said."

Dan gritted his teeth and turned to Crawford. "And what's wrong with you? You get along with her!"

"What if she insists on coming to the foundation," Crawford asked around his sleeve, "and meets Edward?"

"W-well, Jeanine is a mature, worldly woman. I'm sure if his proclivities came up she can be open-minded and nonjudgmental."

Herbert scoffed.

Dan ignored him. "She can handle herself if he comes on to her." 

Crawford cringed. "I'd rather avoid the whole 'coming on to my sister' scenario all together. And... What if she doesn't like Bubba?"

"She'll love him," Dan said reassuringly.

The sound of a car pulling up to the house made them all stop and turn towards the door. Herbert slid the gun from the holster and clicked the safety off.

"Dammit, Herbert!" Dan grabbed his wrist and tried to grab the gun away, or at least slide the safety back on. "I will not end this day with sororicide!" 

They struggled, Herbert's grip relentless. Dan got his other arm around Herbert's waist and lifted him off his feet, trying to carry him from the room. Herbert kicked and squirmed. The doorbell rang. Dan's grip on Herbert slipped. Herbert's grip on the gun slipped, pulling the trigger. Crawford cried out and dove behind the couch. 

Plaster fell around Dan and Herbert from where a hole was shot into the ceiling. Dan dropped Herbert to the floor. "Sonuvabitch!" After the shot was fired, Herbert had dropped the gun. Dan picked it up, reengaged the safety and pocketed it.

Herbert took his dust-covered glasses off and blinked up at the ceiling. "Oops."

"After the gunfire, I thought it best to let myself in." Jeanine stood just inside the door, arms folded across her chest as she took in the scene.

Herbert jumped from the floor, brushing plaster from his hair and clothes. "No, it was not best. And since no one invited you in, this is breaking and entering!"

"Herbert!" Dan brushed furiously at his own clothing. 

Jeanine took a deep breath and dropped her arms to her sides. "Well, it's obvious you did not keep my visit a surprise as I had asked, Daniel. I'd be disappointed in you if it wasn't proper that you're loyalty to him should outweigh any consideration for me. It does your character credit."

"Is anyone bleeding?" Said the sofa.

Jeanine rolled her eyes. "Although, you could allow me to have some secrets. No, dear, no one's bleeding."

"Oh, good." Crawford stood and saw the plaster still dusting its way down. "Oh, dear." He waved to his sister. "Dan didn't call me. It was Herbert."

"Really?"

"He said we'd be better off with safety in numbers."

Jeanine actually smiled at this. "Enlisting your help with a perceived common threat? It's an improvement." She turned back to Herbert with a rare look of approval. Her eyes turned then to the damaged ceiling, then to rest of the room. "So, this is the 'dream house.' Can't say I'm surprised."

"Yes it is, and now get out of it," said Herbert.

"With the amount I gave you for it, I would have thought you could have at least bought some new furniture." She did nothing to mask her disgust with the stained, torn sofa and the warped bookshelves. "But I suppose all of that went towards whatever you're keeping down there." She nodded to the doorway labeled "Embalming Room."

"That's none of your business! Dan, I want her out!"

"I'm sure you're quite strong enough to physically throw me out, Daniel. But, I'd prefer if you didn't."

"He won't." Crawford scrambled to her side. "Hi, by the way."

Jeanine's expression practically melted with tenderness as she looked at her youngest brother. "Hello, dear." She hugged him. "You look well."

"I've been well." He risked a glance at Dan and Herbert.

"Must be that being in love suits you," Jeanine said.

"Ugh! Dan, give me the gun back!"

"Herbert. No. We need to change any way." Dan grabbed his arm. "Come on."

"No! I won't leave her down her alone."

"She won't be alone."

"Crawfish is hardly an intimidating deterrent."

Jeanine said, "Don't worry, Herbert, I have no interest in snooping in the darker corners of this place. I've learned my lesson after what I found in the cellar when you were twelve." 

After another tug, Herbert followed Dan up the stairs. "What did she find?" Dan asked, slipping the clip out of the gun before handing the pistol back to Herbert. 

"Only the reason why the yard had been squirrel-free that summer."

* * *

"Well, Crawford, since you're here-" Jeanine made to sit, but stopped herself, nose crinkling at the sub-par seating. "Are there other chairs?"

"In the kitchen. Come on, I'll make tea."

The kitchen, at least, looked livable. Jeanine sat at the table and watched Crawford easily make his way around the cupboards. "You're actually here often?" His sister asked.

"I've spent the night a couple times, a dinner or two."

"At Daniel's invitation."

"Of course. Or at least his permission. Where are you staying? Not here."

"Oh, no! I'd feel more sure of the roof not caving-in in the House of Usher."

"I'd invite you to stay with me, but ah..."

"I am happily booked in a very nice hotel. Now, come here," she patted the chair next to her. "And tell me all about this policeman I'm going to meet this weekend."

"Are you still here?" Herbert asked. "Surely, you've seen enough now to feel I'm wasting your money and my potential. And your welcome is now overstayed, Crawfish." 

"He means, we'd be happy if you both stayed for dinner," Dan said.

"Am I not speaking English?"

"It's all right, Daniel. In fact, I was hoping you boys would join me at my hotel for dinner. Not tonight, though. Tomorrow. I'd like for Crawford's beau to be there, too." She looked at Crawford again. "Is twenty-four hours decent enough notice?"

"I guess so." 

"Good. And when I do come back tomorrow-"

"No you're not," said Herbert.

"I think, Herbert, we need to have a serious discussion about your allowance, especially since you've been out of school for some time and both you and your cohabitator are in full-time employment." 

Herbert's spine stiffened, his eyes went wide. "What are you talking about?"

"I think it's about time you were more self-sufficient. Won't we all be happier if you were less dependent on me?"

The three men were struck silent. Jeanine seemed to be enjoying the affect she had on them.

"B-but-" Herbert started.

Jeanine stood. "I fear it's been a long day, and I should probably get back to the hotel. Sorry, I couldn't stay for tea, Crawford." She hugged him good-bye and shook Dan's hand. To Herbert she merely nodded and said, "Tomorrow, then. Sleep well."

"B-but..."

"I'll see myself out." And she did, leaving Dan, Herbert, and Crawford standing in the kitchen, staring at each other silently.

"I should probably go, too. See Bubba. Make sure he's free." Crawford stepped around Herbert on his way out as if his twin was literally a time-bomb. 

Dan tried treading just as carefully. "She may have a point."

"What?" The "t" was so clipped it sounded like it was almost broken in half.

"Well, maybe it is time you learned some fiscal responsibility."

"That's your department. I have a lot more important things to worry about."

"Maybe I'm tired of being the only one worrying when you're the one spending _our_ funds on black market chemicals."

"I will not have the most important scientific breakthrough the world of medicine has ever seen be hindered by something as petty as money."

"It isn't petty when the interest rate on student loans keep going up."

"I don't have any loans."

"But I do, because unlike some people I wasn't a spoiled brat, coddled by my more successful family members!"

"Coddled!? Don't talk about my upbringing when you clearly have no clue-"

"Well, they must have indulged you and your sick interests, how else can you be the way you are? Your parents and sister are just as much to blame, then, for not getting you psychiatric helped when you needed it."

"And when did our money problems become a discussion on my psychoses? Which, by the way, _Daniel_ , you're one to throw stones."

"I'm not crazy."

"Then neither am I."

"Oh? And which of us is scheduled for a psych eval next week?"

Herbert scowled. "How do you know about that?"

"You're lucky you're not on suspension for threatening Tiffany."

"A threatening word never passed my lips. She's a lying bitch."

Dan scrubbed a hand across his face. Herbert had been right about one thing. The conversation had drastically changed course from its original topic. There was never any winning with Herbert. No point. They would argue until someone just decided to stop. That someone always being Dan. "I'm going to bed."

Herbert started, taken aback by the number of pages Dan had skipped in their usual script. "Now? But we haven't come up with a way to keep Jeanine from coming back here tomorrow."

Dan nearly rose to the bait to make the conversation drag out longer. "I'm going to bed," he repeated. He left Herbert smoldering downstairs, bits of white plaster still clinging to his hair.

Dan went to bed, but couldn't sleep. His mind raced with the day's events, on how Jeanine's announcement was going to affect them and the future, how to keep Herbert from doing away with his entire family at dinner.

He didn't move when he heard the door open. He resolutely kept his face buried in the pillow as he felt the mattress move and dip.

"I know you're not asleep."

Dan mumbled something that could've had been "Fuck off" if he had the energy.

"It's her fault. She's doing it on purpose. Divide and conquer."

Dan finally shifted and looked up at Herbert who was sitting on the bed, cross-legged. "She's not on some military campaign. Even if she was, to what end? Just to piss you off? Mission accomplished already. And we hardly need her presence to have a reason to fight."

"We can't continue our research, pay the bills and your student loans on our salaries alone."

"How would you even know? You leave all of that to this lesser mortal."

"I listen when you nag." Dan snorted. "I did clean today, didn't I?"

"Yes, it looked very nice until you _shot a hole in the ceiling_."

"True, we'll have to add house repairs to the list of reasons why she can't cut us off."

"I'm through talking about this tonight."

"But-"

"Either you're staying to sleep, or you're leaving. Go bitch to the iguanas if you’re not done." Dan rolled back over. He waited. The mattress moved again, and the door slammed shut behind Herbert's exit.

* * *

Dan made Herbert clean the living room again before Jeanine arrived. Even with the bigger chunks swept away, small dustings of plaster still drifted from the ceiling. The eldest West was a little less intimidating today without her powersuit, and back in her casual clothes. Dan led her to his study where Herbert was waiting, arms crossed. "You're not an auditor."

"I could get one if you'd like," Jeanine said. "One that would ask questions about some of your more interesting personal finances. Really, Herbert, it's no different than when I asked for receipts when you were still in school."

"Herbert, maybe it'd be best if you weren't here. It's not like you understand-"

"I will _not_ leave with the two of you conspiring alone. And just because I choose to ignore financial responsibility doesn't mean I don't understand it." 

Dan raised an eyebrow. "How much is our monthly house payment? Or how about the water and utilities? Have even _looked_ at our budget?"

"You showed it to me once." Herbert uncrossed his arms. "The supplies we need for our research are more important than-"

"Than what? A place to keep the supplies, the energy to run the equipment? That's your problem, isn't it? You never once had to face the possibility of being _without_."

"If that was true, do you think I would have found it necessary to snatch the first posted 'room for rent' card I saw when I came back from Switzerland? One with spelling errors?" 

Jeanine sat at Dan's desk, already going through the papers there and making notes. At the same time, she didn't miss a word of Dan and Herbert's latest tiff. "And what a fortuitous circumstance that turned into. You see, Herbert, you can't say that some forced frugality hasn't led to a more fulfilling life." Herbert scoffed. "Daniel, do you have this past year's tax records?"

"Yeah, here." Dan opened a desk drawer and removed two manila folders with his and Herbert's names on them.

"We pay taxes?"

Dan let out a loud, exasperated breath. "Do you even know what a W-2 form is?"

Herbert's brow furrowed. "If I don't by now, clearly it's unimportant."

Dan made a pained whimper.

"It's not his fault, entirely," Jeanine interjected. "I am partly to blame for not insisting on his learning this by now. But, it was easier for all paperwork to come through me and my people. I am endeavoring to correct this." She ran her eyes over their papers, and made more notes in her leather-bound notebook before snapping it shut. "I'll review this at the hotel and make my decisions." She stood and faced them. "The reservation for dinner is at seven. I'm greatly looking forward to seeing you, Crawford, and his young man, there." She shook Dan's hand with a bright, friendly smile, which fell as she raised an eyebrow at Herbert before leaving.

"Why aren't you fighting this?" Herbert demanded. "Need I remind you of the last time we had to find alternate means of funding?"

No, he didn't. Like Dan would ever forget that terrible night with the Latin-American general whose body was currently rotting in an unmarked grave just outside the cemetery. "In future, try a scheme that won't end in murder."

"Your welcome, by the way, for saving your and Crawfish's lives. And we're _not_ going to dinner. After all this? Why humor her? And I will not stand to listen to any football stories."

"We humor her to hopefully lessen the blow. And I _like_ Bubba's football stories."

Jeanine was not staying within Arkham. Her tastes were far too upscale and modern for anything the town had to offer. Instead, she was staying at a new, ridiculously expensive hotel outside of town built as part of a revitalization plan just off the highway. On the way, Herbert sat with his arms crossed, pouting. Dan had dated a girl before med school with a little brother who looked almost just like that when he was forced into a tie because they were going to a wedding.

Bubba and Crawford were already waiting in the restaurant lobby when they arrived. It was a fancy enough place to require ties on the male patrons. Bubba was in a brown suit. Crawford was in an argyle sweater vest with a red tie tucked into the V-neck collar. As Dan greeted them, Herbert found a bench to sit on and continued to silently sulk. 

"You ready for this?" Dan asked Bubba.

"It's in public and I have back-up. I've had worse meets."

Dan's laugh died when Jeanine made her entrance. He almost didn't recognize her. Her hair was down for once, thick and curling around her shoulders. She was wearing a sleeveless black dress, a diamond necklace lying against her chest, drawing the eye to... And Dan really, really should not be looking there!

"We're leaving." Herbert shot up from his bench and grabbed Dan's arm. 

Dan pulled out of his grasp. "Knock it off! No, we're not."

"I will not tolerate you ogling my _sister_ ," he hissed through clenched teeth. "It was bad enough when you were making eyes at my brother. _This_ is just disgusting."

"I'm not making eyes! It's just... Surprising."

Jeanine shot a warning glance at the two of them before beaming up at Bubba. "Sergeant Brownlee! I cannot express how happy I am to finally meet you." She extended her hand. Her wrist was wrapped in a bracelet matching the necklace.

"Feeling's mutual, ma'am," Bubba said, shaking her hand.

"Jeanine, please."

"Then you can call me Bubba."

Jeanine's smile flickered a moment. "Is that... I mean, of course, if that is what you prefer." She hooked her arms through Bubba's and Crawford's. "This is going to nice," she said, leading them into the restaurant.

Dan and Herbert followed behind. "Look at her, classist bitch. Showing off her jewelry. And did you see the way she sneered at the cop's nickname?"

"You don't like his nickname." And Dan was certain she didn't sneer.

"Nor do I pretend otherwise."

They were seated at a round table. Jeanine was flanked by her brothers, and their respective significant others next to them. The waiter handed them menus plus the wine list to Jeanine.

"This is all in French! I think." Bubba said, puzzling over the one-sheet menu.

"Bien sûr," said Herbert.

"I'm sorry, what!?" Dan nearly gave himself whiplash from the way he whipped his head up and around from the menu to Herbert. 

"He said, 'Of course,'" Jeanine supplied, "and derisively."

"Everything sounds derisive in French," Herbert said

"And since when do you speak French?" Dan asked.

"For about as long as I've known German. It may have something to do with those years in Switzerland."

"But, you've never-"

"Because I don't have to. You haven't spoken a word of Spanish since Peru."

After ordering wine, Jeanine helped Crawford with his menu. Dan bothered Herbert to translate his.

"There's no prices," Bubba commented, worriedly.

Herbert huffed. "Because it's the sort of place that you're suppose to know before you even get through the door whether or not you can afford it."

Jeanine looked up, eyes widening. "I thought it was understood I was treating you boys tonight."

"So, take advantage Dan. It may be the last decent meal you get for some time."

After Herbert and Jeanine gave the waiter the orders, the discussion turned mostly on to Bubba. Basically, it was the same talk they had had previously when he was over for dinner at their place. Herbert sighed dramatically and rubbed at his temples, anticipating the football talk. Dan only half-listened as he idly took in the restaurant and other diners. Clearly everyone else was more affluent and comfortable in the elegant atmosphere than anyone at Dan’s table. Well, except Jeanine. Her laugh pulled his eyes back to her and her easy smile and how she brushed her thick, dark hair off her bare shoulder, exposing smooth, pale skin and-

A heel crushed and ground down on his toes. "Knock. It. Off. Or I swear I will geld you," Herbert said.

"Is there something wrong over there?" Asked Bubba, who Dan had bumped when startled by the sudden pain on his foot. 

"Nothing." All wide-eyed innocence was Herbert. 

"He was always like this as a child," Jeanine said. "Couldn't sit still in public, kicking people under the table. I'm not surprised, but disappointed he hasn't grown out of it."

Herbert started fingering the knife on his place setting. Dan snatched Herbert's hand away and held it under the table. 

Jeanine gave her brother one more withering look before turning brightly back to Bubba. "So, where exactly do you see yourself going in your career?"

"Actually," Crawford began. After it was getting pretty clear that Jeanine liked Bubba, his earlier tension started to ease. "We, or Bubba really, has an announcement about that."

"Oh hey, you got a promotion?" Dan guessed.

"Sort of. I've got a job with the district attorney's office." 

Herbert swore. Crawford looked like he was about to burst from pride. Jeanine was a picture of polite delight. "Well, that is good news!"

"She's dying to ask if that means you make more money. Got to make sure you can provide for her little girl." Herbert said. 

"I was thinking no such thing."

"Don't call me a girl." 

"Herbert, just shut-up."

Bubba, not at all offended, started chuckling. 

The waiter returned with their entrees and an arched brow. The surrounding tables had also turned with raised brows to the sudden outburst from their table. Jeanine smiled apologetically at the waiter. "Don't worry. Once they have food, it'll get much quieter." The waiter started setting the plates down, but his right brow just crept closer to his receding hairline. "You'll be compensated for any discomfort my family causes, I assure you." 

The eyebrow lowered and he smirked. "Of course, ma'am. Enjoy your meal, sirs. More wine?"

Jeanine held up her glass. "Please."

True to her word, with food present, the conversation and sniping had greatly decreased. Over dessert, Jeanine started asking Crawford about his work and the possibility of her coming to see it and meet his boss.

Crawford nearly choked on his soufflé. "Ah, the thing about that." He cleared his throat and tried again. "Well, Pretorious really doesn't like people poking about our work at the moment."

"All right. So, I don't have to see this machine you're working on. Still, I think I'd like to meet him."

Crawford whimpered. 

Bubba put his coffee down and leaned over the table, keeping his voice low. "Look, Crawford doesn't want you meet him because he's something of a weirdo. And that's coming from someone who hangs around these guys," he added, jutting a thumb over in Dan and Herbert's direction.

Dan was about to defend himself, but figured it was better not to bother. He supposed it was a nice compliment to be assured that there are people out there creepier than him and Herbert. 

"That's worrying," Jeanine said, frowning at Crawford.

"It's not!" Crawford insisted. "He's brilliant, just has some personal...quirks. And given present company, I don't see why that's such a big deal."

"What kind of quirks?"

"The kind we shouldn't discuss in polite society, ma'am," Bubba said. "Miss West. Jeanine. Sorry."

That just made her sit straighter in her chair, expression becoming upset and considering. 

Dan decided to chime in. "Okay, I don't like him either. But I can assure you that Crawford's not in danger of being subjected to his...quirks."

"He's a sexual sadist," Herbert announced and none too quietly. 

All conversation stopped at the surrounding tables, the only sound being the clatter of dropped silverware. The waiter returned and coughed politely into his fist. He presented Jeanine with the black case with their check inside. 

She took it without looking at him, slipped in a credit card and handed it back saying, "give yourself 50%."

"Thank you, ma'am."

* * *

Jeanine herded them all into her suite. 

"Trust me, his personal life doesn't at all interfere with our work! I just wanted to avoid any misunderstandings were you to come over." Crawford was saying.

Jeanine held up a hand, stopping Crawford. "You don't have to explain. I have a colleague or two with similar proclivities. My former CEO as a matter of fact. That is not why I'm upset." Her eyes blazed fury at Herbert, her fists clenching, and Dan wondered if Herbert was on his way to another bloodied nose. She tapped her fists against her leg, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her fingers unfurled as she opened her eyes again. "I suppose I should thank you, Herbert. Thank you for reminding me exactly why I don't do this. Why I try to keep hundreds of miles between us."

"You're welcome."

"I don't know why I tried. I thought maybe with your time with Daniel and Crawford and Bu-" She hesitated on the name again.

"His first name's Buford," Dan provided.

"Oh? Good!" Being able to fall back on the casual without being so completely informal seemed to calm her a little. "And Buford's influence there may have been a modicum of change in you. That at least I could take you out without you being an embarrassment."

"I'm an embarrassment? I'm not the one dressed like a slut."

"Hey, now, Little Doc..."

Jeanine breathed heavily through her nose and held up her hand again. "Buford, it was a pleasure to finally meet you. I am very happy for you and Crawford. But I think it may be best for you and he to go now. I need to be alone with Herbert."

"Whatever you say." Crawford took Bubba's hand and tugged. 

"I don't want to come back here because it's become a crime scene, okay?" Bubba warned before allowing Crawford to pull him out of the room.

"Uhm..." Dan looked between the seething siblings. "When you say 'alone,' did you want me to leave?"

"No. It may help to not make this a crime scene," Jeanine said. She turned back to Herbert. "You're cut off. I will no longer have such a vicious parasite clinging to my apron strings. No allowance. No asking for money. You will not get it."

Herbert took a step forward. "You can't."

"I can. It's time to be a damned grown-up, Herbert."

Herbert jerked back like he had been slapped in the face. "You bitch."

Jeanine scoffed. "You're hardly making a case for yourself."

"Herbert, you have to admit we were expecting this." Dan said. Herbert's fingers twitched. Dan was reminded of the way they had played over the knife during dinner. "Okay." Dan carefully went to Herbert's side and put an arm around his shoulders. The smaller man was strung to the point of quivering. "Let's get going before the DA gets involved, huh?"

"Yes, Daniel. I have nothing else to say."

" _You_ may."

"Put a sock in it, Herbert." Dan didn't let go him, dragging him from the room, down the hall, outside and shoving him in the car.

Once home, Herbert stormed directly to the cellar to vent his rage and frustration in God knew what ways. Dan didn't want to know. Dan found a bottle of wine and brought it into the study where he went to work right away on making new budget.

Dan had passed-out at his desk, woken the next morning by the phone ringing. He blinked and shook his head, trying to rattle his brain back into place enough to even answer. To his surprise, it was Jeanine. "Let's meet for coffee," she said. "Don't tell Herbert."

"Uhm..."

"I saw a quaint little place near the hospital. You know the one?"

"Uhm..."

"Good. See you at nine."

Dan stared bleary-eyed at the receiver until the dial tone turned into a series of loud beeps. He looked at the clock. He had half an hour. He stumbled from the study. No sign of Herbert on the main floor. He went upstairs to change his clothes and freshen-up in the bathroom. Still no Herbert in the bedrooms. He must had still been in the lab. Dan felt he should check. Make sure he hadn't been killed by a horde of his own patchwork creations.

Herbert was indeed still in the lab, having passed-out himself at some point, head down on a table. There were body parts and dissected iguanas strewn about, but nothing moving. Dan sighed in relief.

He met Jeanine outside the appointed place and time. She was back in her business casuals, hair tied up and sporting a pair of designer sunglasses. She smiled at him. "I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty." She slid a cup of coffee across the umbrella-ed table.

"Thanks." Dan sat down and took a greedy drink.

Jeanine took a sip from her own. "And how are we?"

"A little hung-over. Herbert's sleeping off a mad scientist hissy fit. Is that all you wanted?"

"No. We need to talk about your finances."

"You made it very clear last night: We're cut off."

"No, Herbert's cut off."

"Right...Wait, you're not saying-"

"Daniel. Dan. Before we continue this conversation, you have to promise me that you will never breathe a word of it to my brother. Either one of them. I know I commended your loyalty to him the other day, but in this circumstance, his not knowing will be the best thing for him."

"Okay."

"Of course I'm not leaving him entirely out in the cold. He's still in my will, with the special clause about his proximity to my death should it be suspicious, still in place. Also, I completely intend to cover any legal fees that may come up. Though hopefully with Crawford's beau going into the DA's office, you'll learn to tread all the more carefully." She took another sip. "And as for allowance."

"No," Dan said. "I couldn't. I can't take your money like that while Herbert's left thinking we've only got our own."

"I knew you'd say that. But Daniel, your student loans. Medical school, even on scholarship took quite a bite from you, didn't it? Let me pay them off for you."

"Seriously?"

She hummed in affirmation around her cup. "Think of it as a present. A thank you and consolation present for being so hopelessly attached to Herbert West."

Dan had no idea what to say or do in response. So he laughed. It wasn't a funny situation. It was confusing and mad. But then, that was the West family. "I'll never actual see you again, will I?"

Jeanine shrugged. "If by some miracle Herbert shows signs of improving his manners, we'll see about Independence Day. Buford's told me he has a barbecue recipe he'd love to give me, and cousin Andrew says he should be back in the country by then. Well, that's that then. I've come to do and say all I needed." She gathered her purse and stood. Dan rose, too. She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck, Daniel." 

Dan rubbed his brow. Well, damn. Now he was going to have to redo the budget all over again.


End file.
